Let's Circle Back, Shall We? (Technically a picture)
The second post with pictures, you may or may not recall, was called "Hitoribocchi Tokyo". I want to go back and talk about that particular phrase, and why I used it. But first, you gotta read me talk about myself for a bit. It's my blog, I'll do what I want!
I think it should be noted that I watch a lot of anime. I've always been a huge fan of animation, and I find Japanese styles to be more to my liking than the typical American offerings. Seriously, I would watch ALL of One Piece, in a single sitting before I ever turn on another episode of Rick and Morty. And I despise One Piece. Although to be fair, I'd also prefer to cut off my own foot like I was trying to escape from the room in Saw over watching Rick and Morty.
...I HATE Rick and Morty.
I suppose that last bit could have cleaned up that first paragraph a lot, but I like to type. Also, bringing up anime was kinda important to this whole story. I'd like to point to a series which I believe is only on Netflix called "Komi Can't Communicate". There are some episodes, or possibly all episodes, that start off with a quote. "When a person has extreme social anxiety, also known as sociophobia, they struffle to communicate with others. Here's something to consider. They're only struggling. It doesn't mean that they don't want to form long-lasting connections or friendships." Or perhaps a quote from the creator would be more appropriate. "Just Because A Person Has Problems Communicating Doesn't Mean That Person Doesn't Want To Communicate With Others." I suppose in a way, both of these can be attributed to Tomohito Oda in one way or another.
The point is, I have a social phobia. I have difficulty talking to other people, and when I do talk, I often talk awkwardly, or even excessively to try and cover up the anxiety. To be honest, I'm like this with everybody I know, to some extent. If I'm talking to you, I am fighting against this phobia. Komi is like me, in some ways, except she pretty much never talks to anyone. She prefers to communicate in writing... Which is honestly my preferred method of communication. If I can get by with just emailing somebody, that's what I will do. I'm an introvert, not necessarily because I want to be, but because talking to people drains me. This is one of the reasons I work third shift. I almost never have cause to speak to other people, other than some brief exchanges with my pharmacist. It's pretty much the ideal position for a person like me. Komi is pretty much how I am with a person I don't know. I do not initiate communication.
But, this still doesn't get to "Hitoribocchi Tokyo" does it? Let's get to that part shall we?
To get to that I need to talk about Kessoku Band. More to the point, I need to get to their guitarist Goto Hitori. Ah, we are seeing the hitori portion coming in here, right? Hitori is Japanese for "one person". Also, it should be noted that Kessoku Band, and Goto Hitori don't actually exist. They are creations that exist in an anime called "Bocchi the Rock" (You have to get on Crunchytoll for that one). This gets to the bocchi portion. Bocchi is slang for "alone" or perhaps "lonely". And Kessoku Band has a song called "Hitoribocchi Tokyo" written by Ai Higuchi. Translations of the title of the song pretty much all agree that it means "Lonely Tokyo". That is kind of what my trip was... Lonely Tokyo. There were millions of people in that city. I couldn't talk to any of them. A good portion of that is that I don't speak Japanese... but part is because I just can't bring myself to attempt communication. I'll get to more of that later. I want to shift focus back to Goto Hitori. She also has social anxiety. However, once she gets to know people, she becomes a little more open... but there is always that barrier between her and the unknown. She is kinda like how I am with people I know. She communicates with those she knows, but not always well.
A little bit of Bocchi for you!
My experience in Japan can kind of be likened to a play called "The Foreigner" by Larry Shue. In this play, a shy Englishman goes to rural Georgia, where his friend tells people he doesn't understand English. This ended up meaning he could get away without talking to anyone in any meaningful way. The whole "not speaking the native language" thing is really the only similarity, and it can be argued that the main character actually does speak the language, but damnit I wanted to bring up the play. And the concept of not speaking the language felt appropriate for the topic at hand.
So... was Tokyo lonely? Yes. I honestly think most days the only time I attempted to speak, was when ordering food. Despite how alone I felt, it was still one of the single most interesting experiences of my life. Not speaking the language pretty much played into my fear of talking to other people. In the end, I feel like taking away the possibility of talking to others might have heightened my ability to enjoy the trip.
